What Boys Should Know!

So The Dangerous Book For Boys is the best-selling book in the UK at the moment.

Apparently it's a book written for "boys of all ages", and gives information and advice on topics as diverse as conkers, the laws of football, fishing, juggling, timers and tripwires, kings and queens, famous battles, skimming stones, marbles and, of course, artillery.

All well and good and, no doubt, fathers and grandfathers all over the land will be rushing out and buying this book in an attempt to encourage their offspring to recreate some sort of fabled 1950's childhood when you could leave your front door open all day and everyone had steak and kidney pud for dinner.

However, what it doesn't do is equip your average 21st century adolescent male with the skills to survive their teenage years in the real world. I propose a sequel... one in which we give the boys of today the life skills they really need to get along.

Life Skills like:

How to cover your tracks when you've been looking at porno
How far can you abuse a copper without being arrested
What insults work best for the "different" kids in your school
How to identify your teachers Achilles heel
How to hide a spontaneous erection in gym class
Googling your homework essays - and how much to change it
How to see your mate's sister naked
What Lynx body spray is best for you
How to tell if your dealer is ripping you off

They'll thanks us for it later when they're Captain of Industry (i.e. convicted fraudsters)